How are my descriptions?

A picture of a cloaked woman
Thanks to for her wonderful photo

I have been working on a new fantasy espionage sourcebook for SCM – Sam Chupp Media. This is going to be a “systemless” sourcebook in that I’m providing setting, ideas, and structure so that you can take your favorite game system and apply what you’ve learned from the sourcebook to play.

In the book, I offer some sample characters to fit the roles of various fantasy espionage agent types that I’ve created. Because it is unlikely that I’ll be able to afford character art for these, I have tried to write some descriptions of them as I see them in my mind.

I want to share some of these with you, and perhaps get your well-considered feedback on them.

Description: A lithe, tan brunette with wild curly hair and shining hazel eyes, wears her black and dark green Lunargenti Army uniform except when incognito.

Description: Short and curvy, ruddy skin, straight brunette hair with green eyes, prefers to wear simple tunics and trousers and her favorite broken-in boots.

Description: In her form as Leticia Ul Kuhar, the owner of the dancing school, she has black hair, piercing onyx eyes, dark brown skin, deep midnight hair, and a perfect dancer’s figure with classically Amishkan curves. Kyra was born with peaches and cream skin, green eyes and blonde hair, she has always been taller and sturdier than other girls though she moves with a delicate grace.

Description: He has carnelian skin, topaz eyes, long onyx hair and full beard, he is solid, stocky and sure in his walk and manner.

Description: Very short with a generous figure, her auburn hair is curly, her green eyes bright as emeralds. She has rosy pink skin with freckles and prefers to dress in earth hues, very sensible clothes like tunics with leggings. She does not like robes and will not wear them.

Description: Dark moss green skin with skin tags and bulbs, four arms, very muscular, Tpin is very tall, having to bend to get through most doors at 7 feet. His eyes are laurel green, his tusks are regularly polished with either a silver or a bronze tusk-cap. Tpin wears the working uniform of the Honorable Old Masters’ enforcers: a black cotton work blouse with dull silver buttons, designed to accommodate his extra arms, and cross-laced leather breeches that allow maximum range of movement. Because of his naturally hardened feet and talons, he carries heavy black felt and leather footcaps so he may traverse delicate floors without scratching them.

My intent here is to have descriptions that paint a picture I also want to be inclusive.